The Warrior Project: Bex, Breast Cancer Survivor

A brand new installment of ‘The Warrior Project’, a series of portraits of women and children who suffer or have suffered from mental or physical illness or disability.

This time we have the lovely Bex. One of my favourite people in the world, she also happens to be engaged to another of my favourite people in the world, one of my oldest friends, Matt. Shes an incredibly strong, inspirational woman, and I was absolutely thrilled that she was happy to be part of the project to document her survival from Breast Cancer at such a young age. Going through this journey was a seriously hard slog, for her and Matt, for the friends and family surrounding them, especially with Bex’s dear Mum, Julie, going through and ultimately losing her own cancer battle at the same time. I am so incredibly proud of the resilience, strength and humour both her and Matt have shown throughout the entire thing and beyond, I love you guys <3

Heres more of Bex, in her own words. Warning, boobs involved!!

“My name is Bex, I am 35 years old, and I am from Burnley, Lancashire. I have been a chef for almost 20 years, and I am currently a catering supervisor working for the NHS. I enjoy being ‘extra’, whether that be making decorations for a party, baking, cooking or cocktail making, if I’m creating something for people to enjoy, I’m happy. I have not-so-secret obsessions with anything dinosaur related and cleaning, the smell of bleach always puts a smile on my face.

My journey started in 2016, when I was 30. I had noticed a large lump in my left breast so went to the breast screening service to get it checked out. I had a scan and the consultant told me it was a cluster of around 32 cysts and if he were to drain them I would look like a bruised pin cushion but they were safe to leave and they would probably come and go over time. To be honest I was never fully convinced that is all it was as it was the size of a golf ball, but I was currently going through a bit of a mental break down at the time and didn’t have the spoons to give so accepted the professional’s diagnosis and just forgot about it.

It wasn’t until my late mum got diagnosed with terminal lung cancer in May 2019 that I thought about it again. Around that time I started experiencing pain in the same area, so with relentless nagging off both my mum and my partner Matt I went to get it checked again. I had a scan, a mammogram and a biopsy within the week, 2 days later the results came back as positive for breast cancer. CT scans were to follow which showed that the tumour was around 3.5cm, this meant the only option was a skin-sparing mastectomy and reconstruction (though this did come with a positive as they were going to build my new boob out of my tummy tissue therefore getting a cheeky tummy tuck at the same time, thankyou NHS). After the major surgery it was 6 cycles of chemotherapy, as we discovered it had spread to my lymph nodes and then another operation to remove them. I now have to go for yearly mammograms and also have to take medication for the next 10 years to hopefully help to prevent it happening in the other breast, but I got the all clear on the 26th may 2020 and I’ve never felt better.

I have to say every day it gets better. Every day I’m one more day cancer free, every day I feel more confident and more me, I’m used to my new body and very proud of it (in fact I’ve decided I prefer the new boob so much I want my other nipple removing ha) I’m a survivor and I feel strong.

I think the hardest part was having to manage my mum passing whilst I was still receiving treatment. I felt guilty a lot of the time because I knew I was going to survive this, did survive this but she didn’t, though we did her proud and had one amazing funeral for her and the sheer amount of people that turned up definitely helped me through it. Losing my hair through the chemo was also an extremely hard thing to deal with, I felt like I had lost my identity, my femininity and I didn’t really know who Bex was for a long time. Typically, just before my diagnosis I was contemplating starting a family but with the surgery, treatment and now the medication I’m taking the risks are too high and I’m potentially going through an early menopause so it’s unlikely to happen, again that was difficult, but I have come to terms with it now and I’m looking forward to my future with Matt and finally planning the wedding.

I’m still learning to love myself again and that is building the more my confidence comes back. I’m back at work now after a gruelling 2 years off and I love it, my mental health has improved and I’m much more active again. As I said I’m on medication for 10 years and have to have yearly check-ups but other than that I’m feeling positive and looking forward to the future. I’ve got a new lease of life and I don’t want to waste it.

My advice to others starting a similar journey is be strong, be brave and find the positives. I’m a firm believer in positivity being a healer, its what got me through the last 24 months and I came out the other side shining brighter then I did before.

Ill be honest, I was a nervous wreck the morning of the shoot, had a complete melt down and was contemplating pulling out of it but once people started to arrive and the hustle and bustle of setting up backdrops, outfits and makeup started I began to relax and even enjoy it.

The thing is I’ve never really enjoyed being in front of a camera so never had a shoot before and I had never had my makeup professionally done, I’m crap at the girly stuff, and with all the changes my body has gone through I felt overwhelmed and out of my depth. It was great that you came to me with your portable studio as I felt much more relaxed in my home setting, hell I was that relaxed I ended up taking most of my clothes off ha-ha! As a whole I enjoyed every second, melt down and all.

My photographs make me feel absolutely amazing, strong and womanly. They have helped me learn to love me again and have helped me realised that despite the mastectomy and the physical effects the chemo had on my body I’m still me, I’m still Bex and she never went away.

Do it. If you have any worries or hesitations just speak to Donna, you can be as open as you like with her, she has seen and heard it all and there’s no need to feel embarrassed but yeah, find the strength and do it, she made me feel amazing and I’m overjoyed with the photos.

I want to say a massive thankyou to you Donna, never did I think I would be brave enough to strip off for the camera let alone have a shoot to begin with and love the result of the pictures. You’ve helped me find my inner Bex again. Thank you for being with me through my journey, beginning to end and for giving me the honour of being part of your Warrior project and getting the opportunity to share my story.”

What an amazing woman and amazing journey, I’m sure you’ll agree!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for trusting me Bex, I don’t take that lightly <3